Appetite

My goal when starting this blog was to bring together all of the things I loved. Writing, counseling, health and fitness, vegetarian food, and photography. Unfortunately over the past two years I faced a lot of trials that found me writing and pouring out my wisdom from what I learned in school for counseling. But I am finding myself in a place where I want to at least try and move past all the junk and gunk. And I want to share the rest of my passions. Like vegetarian cooking...

When I came home I was determined to take better care of myself and continue on with a healthy vegetarian lifestyle. But I didn't want anymore of the boring and bland vegetarian food I had come to know. I needed everything to have a kick to it. I found myself wanting very specific food. Hispanic food to be exact. Thanks to the dawning of the Pinterest era I was able to find some new and exciting recipes, along with the other vegetarian lifestyle blog.

So without further ado I bring you, "Huevos Rancheros Casserole":


It started with this lovely recipe for  Huevos Rancheros,  but I have never been a big fan of corn tortillas and mine were just not coming out right. So I asked myself what could I do to make it easier to eat and enjoy. And then it hit me... Quiche Cornbread! I found it on one of my favorite lifestyle blogs Healthy Tipping Point or HTP as Caitlin (the author) tends to call it. So I set my brain to work and put them together to fit the following recipe.

You will need:

Cooking Spray
1 box of cornbread mix
1c milk split(of any kind)
1/2 can black beans, drained
6 eggs
Shredded Mexican Cheese Blend
Cayenne Pepper
Cumin
Salt
Salsa
Sour Cream
Cilantro

You will also need the following kitchen utensils:

1 mixing bowl
Mixing Spoon
Approx. 3" Deep Baking Dish
Measuring Cup

1. Preheat your oven to 350*. Always the key step!!! It might be hard to do with a cold oven!
2. Combine ingredients on your cornbread box. This is where that first half cup of milk probably comes in.
3. Pour cornbread mix in greased baking dish and bake for 15 minutes.
4. While cornbread is in the oven, combine the 6 eggs, 1/2 c milk, Cayenne, Salt, and Pepper to taste.
5. Remove cornbread from oven and pour the black beans directly on the cornbread and spread out evenly.
6. Pour the egg mixture over the black beans and cornbread and sprinkle the cheese blend over the eggs.
7. Place the baking dish back in the oven for 20 minutes. Then turn the oven up to 400 for an additional 5 minutes. Cook until eggs are completely set.
8. Allow it to cool and you are able to handle. Cut it in slices and top with salsa, sour cream, and cilantro.
9. ENJOY the yummy warm goodness!!!!

Awakening

 "On reflection, "

Currently
Reading: "The Sisterhood Of The Traveling Pants" by Ann Brashares
Watching: "Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants"

Source: YouTube
Listening: "22" by Taylor Swift


Source: Vevo.com

I don't know about you but I'm feeling 22
Everything will be alright if you keep me next to you
You don't know about me but I bet you want to
Everything will be alright if we just keep dancing like we're 22, 22

"one of the things I needed to learn was"

When you are child you believe in everything and think that nothing will ever change; when you grow up you realize that you can't believe in everything and that nothing stays the SAME.

 I love "The Sisterhood" for bringing me closer to my childhood friends when we were younger, but at the same time I think it gave us false hope hat we would be together forever. I realized within this past month how UNTRUE that was. I will always love my dear friend, growing up she was more my sister than my own. But our lives have taken separate paths. And for some reason she's chosen to walk away from me.

Growing up is hard on a friendship. There’s no revelation in that.

I remember my mom once told me that a good family is built for

leaving, because that is what children must do. And I’ve wondered

many times, is that also what a good friendship is supposed to be

built for? Because ours isn’t. We have no idea how to cope with the

leaving. And I’m probably the worst of all. If you need a picture,

picture this: me putting my hands over my eyes, pretending the leav-

ing isn’t happening, waiting for us all to be together again.
"Sisterhood Everlasting: Prologue" by Ann Brashares

But that's not what this is about. It's about growing up, growing older, CHANGING. 

I yearn for a day where I will feel settled again. Where I can finally feel safe. Where I can belong. Where I can share a heart with someone else. Because that is what the sisterhood is about. Being together even when you a million miles apart. Learning to shine on your own while you are basking in the glory of your friends.


I am learning how love people again... and maybe even letting other people love me. I'm growing, I'm hurting, I am healing.

Teach me O God to walk in your truth.

"to allow myself to be loved." ~Isha McKenzie-Mavinga

Letters to Baby P~ One Year

Dear Sweet P,

It's hard to believe that a year ago today I finally got the word that you, my dear, were here. And my how these twelve months have flown by.
You've gone from this helpless little baby to this daring and adventuress toddler. You have learned to explore and you love it. And I am pretty sure you get prettier everyday. Your smile is radiant and you are a joy.
I pray that you never lose your joy. That you always remain as curious about the world as you are now. And that you would know that your safety is always found in the Father.
You've changed my little world once again, and for as much as changed has scared me over the years you were one of the best changes brought into my world. I hold on to the moments we have with you as an infant and look forward to your toddler years. And watching you grow up into the woman God has planned for you to be.

But until then we'll be here for you... with open arms,
Love Always,
Aunt T

Prepping

This past year has been difficult to keep up with the blog. I was pretty consistent my first year of writing, but right after I started that second year my world turned upside down. I was struggling to keep up with a new job, lots of big events, and some awful health problems. But I am hoping that by the time June rolls around I will be ready to regularly write again, just in time for the start of the third year of "Show Me Again". However, that doesn't mean I am going to hold off until then to start writing again. I've got all kinds of exciting things coming up in the next few months including a multifaceted thirty day challenge that involves a new eating plan, workout, and some photography! And there's even more before I start that! Sweet P is turning one next week and I am so excited to write about this little girl and all of my other loves! I laugh at myself, because I know that I only have about one reader and she usually knows about a lot this stuff before it gets posted. But its nice to have a place to look back and document all the craziness! So here's to some renewed discipline and rest!

On the Road (to recovery)

Currently
Reading:Absolutely nothing! I have been slacking in this department.
Watching: CSI:NY 
Listening: "Never Grow Up" by Taylor Swift

Oh I don't wanna grow up, wish I'd never grown up
I could still be little
Oh I don't wanna grow up, wish I'd never grown up
It could still be simple
Oh darling, don't you ever grow up
Don't you ever grow up, just stay this little
Oh darling, don't you ever grow up
Don't you ever grow up, it could stay this simple
Won't let nobody hurt you
Won't let no one break your heart
And even though you want to, please try to never grow up
Oh, don't you ever grow up
Oh, never grow up, just never grow up 

 

This blog comes to you from the open road of Florida. Four days, three major stops, and several hundred miles by car. We are on the last leg, trying to get to that third stop before we reach our final destination: HOME. Over the last few days I've added Florida to the list of states I've visited, watched a dear friend get married, stood on the beach at the Gulf of Mexico, gone to Universal Studios, and am now on my way to have dinner with fifteen to twenty friends from school. My heart is both heavy and light. I am overwhelmed. And yet feel so blessed.
This trip was a Godsend, but it's unbelievably hard to imagine. The two hardest parts being, the wedding and the dinner I am about to attend.
I watched someone I love dearly get married. Someone, that when I was a child, I believed I would be marring. Now I've known, for quite sometime, that I would never be the one looking at him on this day. But I couldn't imagined what it would feel like to be there on that day. I somehow managed not to cry, but it was equally hard nonetheless. Now, don't get me wrong, his bride is lovely. I knew from the first time I spoke with her that she was the one he was going to marry. I even threatened him, if he didn't. I couldn't have hand picked anyone better if I tried. She is sweet and kind and is a match for match of him. I love her. But it's a different kind of love, a different kind of relationship that I have with her as opposed to him. I know that after this past Saturday nothing will be the same again. He has a wife now. She is his responsibility, his priority, and his number one friend. She is not the jealous type, but we've always had this relationship where we can not talk for ages and then pick right back up and talk for hours. It will never just be him and me again. It will always be them and me. And that makes me a little sad. I've tried to prepare myself for years, attempting to pull back and not feel this way. But I guess I did not expect it to come so soon or for it to happen to him first.
I am sadly pathetic in the way I scream I want to stay single, I don't want to have children; and yet in my heart I cry for companionship and nurturing, long to be longed for. I suppose if I ever want that to change, I will have to stop screaming "I don't want tos" and start being more open with myself. Although I so live in a cultural wasteland, so I guess good luck to me with that.
Oddly though, here I am feeling a mix of bravery and anxiety about my upcoming stop: dinner with MC.
I took a break from writing at this point, simply because I was exhausted.
Dinner, dinner was not what I planned, but it went alright. There were about ten people there and I shared what has happened over the past year or two, and how God has challenged me. And I think everyone left with a little more peace than they had before. Knowing what God has done in my lifeand how he's moved us forward. I trust God. I know that He had a purpose for last night. I just don't know all the details yet...

Destruction

Currently
Reading: "Angels in the Snow" by Melody Carlson
Hopefully over the next year you will see two books here, as I try to read one fiction and one non-fiction book
"Deep Unto Deep: The Journey of His Embrace" by Dana Candler
Watching: Getting ready to watch "Necessary Roughness"
Listening: "Lead Me To The Cross" by Seventh Day Slumber

Lead me to the cross
Where Your love poured out
Bring me to my knees
Lord I lay me down
Rid me of myself
I belong to You
Oh lead me
Lead me to the cross

I have O.C.D.

Organize the

Chaos

Disorder

My life feels like piles of disarray, screaming for order! And I'm running around trying to pick up the mess. I feel like maybe this is just preparing me for the season around the corner. Because it's time. Time for my new season.

I've been going through this new phase... the neat and tidy phase. Which shouldn't be that surprising for a Type A personality like me. But I am and it is. Everything must move, everything must be scrubbed, everything must GO! It's like my sanity depends on it. And unfortunately I am going insane. There is not enough time in a day to get all that I want to do done. I am burnt out at work and I am just not sure how much longer this can go on!!!

I have a list of projects to get done. My kitchen has been ransacked. My bathroom is waiting to be deep cleaned and have stuff tossed out. And my bedroom has an entire wall that looks like a communications board with my three page goal list for the year, three calendars (one general calendar, one cleaning/organizing for the year, and one for my bible reading; this does not count the one in my nightstand for checking off my daily goals), and there is also a dry erase board with my monthly goals on it. I have piles of stuff that are screaming to be gone through and organized. And I have never thrown out so much stuff in my life. It's like I am nesting and detoxing at the same time.

I feel insane... out of control, yet in complete order. Ready to move on but unsure of where to go. Somethings about to happen. I am ready to stick my hand out, maybe even into someone else's.

I know right now this might sound crazy. And it is. One hundred percent. But I also hope this will be part of the solution. I am hoping this will put me back on track. And I know one day I will come back and look at this and laugh, at least I hope. I just want my confidence back. I want my fierce strength. I want to have a plan again.

Jesus help me. I am crying out to you for even the slightest sense of normalcy in my life. And a pinch of joy would be nice also.

Day One

Ir's a new day, a new year. I woke up to the world being washed for a new year... It's been pretty dreary lately as we hold our breath waiting for spring to bring it's thaw.

This morning, as I ran around the building to get the paper, I felt a chill run down my spine. This building has completely changed for me. It's funny how I used to walk past here on my way to and from work, never knowing what it was. And now I pull in here , everyday, to the building that saved me in so many ways. Saved me from the dead end job. Rebuilt my finances. And saw that I wasn't at my best when an ambulance came to save my life. It's hard to believe what a difference a year can make. What will this new year bring? I have no clue...

But until then, I will wait for this fog to life...