Sunday, January 29, 2012

"There is nothing worse than"
Reading: Twitter
Watching: Bond of Silence, some Lifetime Movie
Listening: A random mix of songs stuck in my head, but I'll share this: 
                  "Fix Me Jesus" by Queen Latifah
Fix me Jesus, fix me
Oh fix me, oh fix me, oh fix me
Fix me Jesus, fix me
I love how a simple shopping spree can spawn a day long project.
I have an old bulletin board that someone gave me. It was a third generation hand me down by the time it came into my possession. It's this weird gray, blue, speckled color and it's definitely not pretty. But I use it anyway, because how do you turn up a free way to organize?
Well, Wednesday after running a few errands, a friend asked my mom and I if we would like to go to a craft store with her. And, well, my mom has never turned down an opportunity to stock up on yarn or patterns. But while they gawked at yarn and craft books, I found myself in the clearance sections. Where I found this gorgeous black and white material... for two dollars. And in case you didn't notice my room happens to be black and white. So I then I ventured into the ribbon section and found spools of ribbon at two-fifty a piece!!! And so the amazing project began... Please enjoy the transformation from a blase bulletin board to a, what I think, is a pretty awesome way to organize jewelry.
Said ugly bulletin board!
Awesome(ly) cheap ribbon

Measuring the ribbon to fit the corners
Attaching the ribbon's
And the final board before jewelry was attached
Can I just say you can never have enough push pins!
And this is what it looks like now hanging on my wall!

 The project definitely took longer than I thought, and it was definitely altered from the original concept I had in my head, but I'm pretty darn happy with it!
"a sharp image of a fuzzy concept." ~Ansel Adams

Monday, January 23, 2012


"To be interested in the changing of seasons"

Watching: Courageous
Listening: "Happy Day" by Kim Walker
Oh happy day, happy day!
You wash my sin away!
Oh happy day, happy day!
I'll never be the same
Forever I am changed!

When I stand in that place
Free at last
Meeting face to face
I am yours Jesus you are mine.

Endless joy, perfect peace
Earthly pain finally will cease
Celebrate Jesus is alive!
He is alive!
"is a happier state of mind than,"
Hello blog world... I have been sitting on some exciting news for about a week; but had to wait until today to share, to make sure it was a definite thing. The following post was something written last Tuesday... awaiting confirmation of the great news.
So after a restful night of sleep, I woke up this morning with a toothache, headache,  and stomach ache. Not to mention it was raining... Needless to say I was terrified how this day was going to turn out.
But then in the midst of my fret, I stopped and reminded myself that "being confident..." So I pulled out my word and started my normal day.
With that it was like God just opened up heaven for me. When I got on my scale I discovered I lost two and a half pounds! The warm water lasted long enough for me to get super cleaned up. I then came downstairs and my mom made me potatoes and eggs with toast and a clementine. I poured myself a glass of milk and had the perfectly balanced breakfast. So I ran upstairs and put away my laundry as well as work off that wonderful breakfast! And when I came back down I looked like this:

I stepped outside to a windy, but wonderful, sixty degree day! Then ran off to my interview. I arrived fifteen minutes early! and got right in there. Afterwards let's just say I left the interview looking like this:
Since you're reading this post it means... I got the job as well as a raise and benefits! WOOHOO! My mom was expecting great news, so I came home to these:
 Nope they are not corn muffins...
They are cupcakes filled with CHOCOLATE!!!
So mom ordered a pizza while I went and changed into some comfy sweats. And then I chased a dog before going to get the movie we settled in to watch. And now I am glued to my couch watching, writing, and reading.
"to be hopelessly in love with spring." ~George Santayana 

Sunday, January 22, 2012


"Advice is what we ask for"
Listening: "I Got This" by Jennifer Hudson
So many tried to break me
When I got up and knocked me down
Didn't keep me from moving
I flip the world upside down
They said the sky was the limit
I put my footprint all in it
Cause I've been there
I'm looking down at the moon
And if you feel like I do
Put your hands in the air

I got this, every single breath another step on my road
I got this, I'm from the south side trying to get to my goal
I got this, ain't no stopping me,
Come on follow me if you feel the need
I got this, better believe I got this, believe I got this

Gravity is mad at me cause when I fall I won't drop
Something in me won't let me stop until I reach the top
I keep going, I keep showing the whole world everyday I'm growing
Everything, everything, everything, everything, everything in me says I got this
"when we already know the answer,"
This week I've been thinking a lot about what I want... And I've decided I have no clue. Some big changes are coming up... and I don't know where they'll lead me. But I do know that God has new things around the corner, and I will wait on Him. I'm sorry that's all I have right now.

"but wish we didn't." ~Erica Long How to Save Your Own Life, 1977

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Jumpers, Jackets, Jeans

"To be a fashionable woman is to know yourself, know what you represent, and know what works for you."
Watching: The Golden Globes
They’re sugar and spice and angel wings
And hell on wheels and tight blue jeans
A summer night, down by the lake
An old memory that you can’t shake
They’re hard to find, yet there’s so many of ’em
The way that you hate, that you already love ’em
But I guess that’s the way it’s supposed to be

They smile, that smile
They bat those eyes
They steal you with "hello"
They kill you with "goodbye"
They hook you with one touch and you can’t break free
Yeah, the trouble with girls is nobody loves trouble as much as me

"To be "in fashion" could be a disaster on ninety percent of women."
So as I mentioned in my last post how I rearranged my bedroom Monday. Here is what it ended up looking like:
 I am still loving the new arrangement and all the open space it has given me! It feels spectacular to walk in my room and not be concerned I'll bump into something. What you can't see in the picture is the closet directly to the left and in the corner beyond the closet and next to my mirrored dresser is a chest of drawers with my television in it. However this rearrangement has brought attention to something I haven't payed much attention to lately.
 Since I have been trying to make sure I turn my television off when I go to bed at night, my closet is the first thing I see in the morning. As I peer into it every morning, one thought has continually crossed my mind. Who is the person that owns this closet!?!?!? I mean if you pulled out random pieces of my closet you would find several different "people" or "styles" living in one space.
 This ensemble is something I've had for years, I couldn't even tell you where I got it from. It's a brown dress that buttons all the way down and has a one of those tricky belts. You know the kind with the two weird metal loops that you feed the material through... I feel like this outfit is a little old for me but I've worn it and loved it. It's my "mature" side.
 I got this little zip-up hoodie at a place called Jimmyz about an hour from my house. I got it while I was waiting on a boy I was meeting with. The sweatshirt has kept me more company... The boy has kept me constantly waiting... This is my punk side.
 I feel like every indie hipster kid owns some plaid flannel... here's mine. It was a gift... but I mostly love it for it's warmth.
 And this last little number is one of my preppier  pieces. It's also one of my most colorful. It's a tunic top I bought this year, and wow does it look bright in this picture.

So anyways, not a very interesting post this week, but I am stuck in my closet. This year I will be weeding through my clothes. I have held on to some of these things for far to long and I rarely wear them. Not to mention they do not fit my personality. I want my outside to reflect my inside. I've lost the weight, I've gotten healthy, and now I am getting one hundred percent fit. There WILL be muscle definition in my whole body. And my clothes will look, fit, and feel my body and personality.

What would your wardrobe say about you?
"You are not a page out of Vogue." ~Author Unknown
So this is what I was trying to articulate yesterday, but my head was in a thousand places and I just couldn't get the words out!
"To Be 'Fashioned'"

Wednesday, January 11, 2012


"The world is round,"
Reading: Verses about God being with me, having peace, and NO fear
Watching: The sun coming up through my blinds
Listening: "You're Not Alone" by Rick Pino
His peace be over you
His love over you
I pray his peace over you
And his love over you

There's a fourth man standing in the fire
There's a fourth man standing in the fire
You're not alone
You're not alone
Your father's coming down to shut the mouths of the lions
Your father's coming down to shut the mouths of the lions
You're not alone
You're not alone
"and the place which may seem like the end"
This week has been slow, but oddly busy at the same time for me. I'm not sure what's happening.

I know I've said this before but for as much as I felt like last year was about recovering, this year feels like it's been about LIVING. I'm trying on confidence again. I'm trying new things. I'm finally washing off the grime left from the murkiness that was the end of the previous and beginning of last year.
Which meant that Monday afternoon the cave I hid in when I came home, also known as my bedroom, was completely rearranged. It only took I don't know... three or four hours!!! It was funny because before I even started moving furniture, I measured the length of all the furniture. And only until we get half of my furniture moved did I realize we should have measured the width! So we sat in my room with the hallway filled with my belongings and half assembled furniture all around us for approximately half an hour/ hour trying to figure out how to make any other arrangement besides the original one work. Basically it ended up transposed, but we did move both of my dressers to one wall so I actually have open space in which I can fully move around. I love it. And I already feel some release from the last year in less than forty-eight hours.
That combined with the new schedule I've made for myself has made for quite a new beginning. Thank the Lord. My time with Him this morning was so precious. I'm finding spending more and more time having intimate conversations with Him. It's hard to pull myself away.
So much more is going on, but it will have to wait another day...

"may also only be the beginning." ~Ivy Baker Priest

Sunday, January 8, 2012


"Some people have a foolish way of not minding, or pretending not to mind, what they eat."
Watching: The Big Waste
"C" is for Cookie that's good enough for me,
"C" is for cookie that's good enough for me,
"C" is for cookie that's good enough for me,
Oh! cookie, cookie, cookie starts with "C"!

Hey, You know what? A round cookie with one bite out of it looks like a "C"
A round donut with one bite out of it also looks like a "C" but it is not as good as a cookie
Oh, and the moon sometimes looks like a "C" but you can't eat that
"For my part, I mind my belly very studiously, and very carefully;"
In case you didn't know, C is no longer just for cookie because, well, that just wouldn't be healthy!

So today is all about food since I just got back from the grocery store about an hour ago. I don't know how you shop, but I personally like to go with a game plan of meals for the whole week. I have been focusing on eating new recipes so ensure I am exposing myself to a variety of different foods. This weeks recipes were brought to you by Recipage, a free collection of food blogger's recipes that you can search and filter through to find something new! Not only that, you can also have the recipes sent directly to your Facebook, twitter, or phone! So I didn't even have to make a list. If you enjoy it give a shout out to them @Recipage or on the creator's own food blog, The Daily Garnish.

On a different note,  it may surprise some of you to know that while I strive NOT to count calories due to a former eating disorder; I am a big proponent of portion control, food groups, and vitamin intake along with health benefits. So I was kind of thrilled when I was playing on Pinterest, and found this plate portion-er, that organizes your plate to have the proper amount of each food group on your plate. Which in turn led me to this awesome website called Super Tracker. Super tracker is an awesome tool to look at how you are using your food! You can input your daily food intake to see if you are eating enough of each food group, how many empty calories your are eating, and any other goals such as me who checks to make sure I am getting my daily iron. You can also track fitness and weight loss goals as well.

After years of physically and mentally battling with anorexia and then combating it with over eating, one of my favorite quotes has become: "Eat to live, not live to eat."
" for I look upon it, that he who does not mind his belly will hardly mind anything else."  ~Samuel Johnson

Saturday, January 7, 2012

Juvenille no more

"The end of childhood
Watching: Tuck Everlasting

And the time has come now
We must figure out
Driving north or going south
Growing up or falling down
As we pull ourselves together
We cant help but be torn apart
And we will always have each other
Just like it was from the start

When five becomes four
And four becomes one
It's not just passing on
It's passing on all the fun we had
You made us laugh
We only cried but once
Your made us laugh
Your photographs
On display for everyone

The time has come now
We must figure out
How to be as one
How to be as one 
is when things cease to astonish us."
 Yesterday afternoon my dear, sweet, angel of a friend called me. I listened to the light in her voice, even as she was stressed, talking about her baby girl. The little baby that will change our lives forever. I listened to her talk about this tiny little bundle to be, and even over the phone I could see her with her hand on her belly laughing about how this little girl was already behaving. My dear sweet friend, that has laughed and cried with me, is going to be a mom. She is going to be a Mommy! And I don't think she will ever believe me when I say it, but she is going to be the best mom in the entire world. I truly believe that with everything in me. She is the sweetest, gentlest, and most loving soul I have ever met my entire life. I don't know what her child did in heaven, but she just won the lottery when it comes to parents. I can't wait to meet that precious baby girl, and hold her in my arms. I can't wait to smile, and coo, and awe over her. The second I hold her, I think I'll know for sure childhood is gone and that I am an adult. Because my friend won't just be my friend anymore, she won't just be a wife anymore, she'll be a mom. And the picture of the two of them will make the world stand still.
"When the world seems familiar,"
Today I got a text message from my crazy, daring, and darling best friend. It contained three simple words. Found. My. Dress. Never have those words packed such a punch.  Because it wasn't just a sundress. It wasn't another dress for homecoming court, pageants, or proms. It wasn't just teenage girls being silly. It was THE dress. The dress that will top them all. And I'm a million miles away. And so are those teenage girls. The ideas of back then are becoming reality. After that things will never be the same. When did we become old enough for this? In nine and a half months I will stand next to her and watch her say I do. She'll officially have a new best friend, and the world will never be the same. Nor, I guess, should it be.
"when one has gotten used to existence,"
Days like today feel like one heck of a wallop. You know when you're just goofing off and knocking each other around, having fun, and then you realize it actually hurts. That's what growing up feels like lately. But there's this buzz in between it. This natural high that feels life will go on forever, until you realize it's changing. My friends are at such exciting phases in their lives. Someday, maybe, I'll look back on these moments and laugh at how silly I seem. But until then, I wistfully look at these days ahead with an odd mix of sadness and joy. The world is still turning.
"one has become an adult." ~ Eugene Ionesco
 P.S. For those of you who were wondering about my friend who was in an accident back in August (see Anger and Absolution), he is doing pretty well. In the days and weeks following the accident there was concern that he was going to lose more of his leg; but thanks to the Lord, and your prayers, it never happened. He still is experiencing some pain, but we are so thankful that he is alive and well. He is actually being fitted with a prosthetic soon and will hopefully be walking on his wedding day, in thirty-six and a half days.

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Jetting in

"Each day learn something new,"
Reading: I'm working on reading through the Bible in one year
Watching: The final episodes of Smallville
Listening: "The More I Seek You" by Kari Jobe
The more I seek you,
The more I find you
The more I find you, the more I love you
I wanna sit at your feet
Drink from the cup in your hand.
Lay back against you and breath, feel your heart beat
This love is so deep, it's more than I can stand.
I melt in your peace, it's overwhelming
"and just as important,"
 This week I have been trying to focus on making meals based on what we already had in the house. There was so much stuff in my cupboards I didn't even know what we had because I've been eating based on what I see on TV or recipes from my favorite blogs. So, I attempted to make homemade spaghetti sauce for the first time. And... it was SPECTACULAR. Everything in it was items we normally stock in our pantry,  except for the tomato paste which I'm guessing cost us under a dollar when we bought it! I liked it so much better than the pre-made jar sauces that cost at least three dollars! My house smelled so good when it was done! All in all, SUCCESS!

In other news, after weeks of feeling like I was in an awful funk, something clicked and I finally feel back to my "good" pre Christmas crank self. I really believe having my goals set for two-thousand twelve kick started me back on track. Having something to work for is such a good motivation. But even more so than that, realizing that having goals just to have them means absolutely nothing. If there is no heart behind my goals, all it is is words. So last night, I started knocking out some of my goals. It felt amazing. I went to bed feeling ready to rest, and woke up feeling refreshed! Had a pretty fabulous day because of it. Hopefully your working on your goals too! Stay encouraged!
"relearn something old." ~Robert Brault

Monday, January 2, 2012


"The road leading toward a goal"
Reading: The words that God used to define me
A mystery that fascinates me
His are the greatest kings and presidents
Are all pawns on a chess board in the palm of His hand
He shuffles them about then he orders their step

And we already know how it ends
The strongest enemy, he never wins
And what was meant for then is for today
Don't let the blood poured out be in vain

What are we waiting for
I hear a church that's been crying out for more
But there's a well overflowing
Still she is searching for water

And we have access to the greatest victory
Waiting in the round for it to be completed
Cause we don't really believe that the enemies defeated
What are we waiting, what are we waiting... for?
"does not separate you from the destination;"
Today is one of those days, perfect for snuggling up on the couch. And that was not what I did today. Well not all day. I couldn't sit still any longer. I attacked my kitchen. I tossed everything from my fridge that was spoiled or on the verge of turning. I wiped down the the shelves and rearranged it. I unloaded my dishwasher and reloaded it. I made a run to the grocery store and made this warm and filling dish from Fresh and Foodie, Lentils with Brown Rice and Feta. It it such a set it and forget it dish that sticks to your inside and warms you up! However due to my aversion of raw tomatoes, mine was sans the bright pop of red!

After dinner I took a shower, tried my new heat-less curling method, and sat down snuggled up with my laptop to work on something I hadn't taken the time to work on until now. My goals for two-thousand twelve. I know, I should have done them before now. But I hadn't felt the need. Then inspiration struck, and my thought provoking place did it's job. So I pulled up a new document, focused on five main categories, and pounded it out. Two pages later, I feel relieved that I have clear vision of what I want to accomplish in the next year. And with it came the subtle reminder of who I really am, who God has defined me as, and at the end of the day that His plans are the only one's that matter.
"it is essentially a part of it." ~Charles DeLint