Sunday, February 26, 2012

Letters to Baby P~ Just wait!!!

Dear Baby P,

You, young lady, have been one busy baby this week!!! I don't what you've been thinking trying to come so early. Your poor Mommy can't get out of bed now!
 I will tell you now, what I have the feeling I will be telling you many times over the years, don't rush through life!!! There will be plenty of days to grow up, there will be plenty of days to experience new things, but you will never be able to get those days back once they have passed. So enjoy the moments, savor them, capture the memories, and live in the present. Because sitting here in my twenties, I keep asking myself when we grew up? How are we old enough to be waiting for, you, the first of many babies to be born to my friends? To see so many of my friends getting married?
 We love you Sweet P. A thousand times we love you, but we are willing to wait. Because we know the days of you will come and go so fast. We just want to see you happy and healthy!

So whether it's in two weeks or six (you dare not come sooner missy!)...

We'll be waiting... with open arms!

Love Always,
 Aunt Tricia

Sunday, February 19, 2012


"Humility does not mean thinking less of yourself than other people,"
Reading: "The Awakening" by Angela Hunt
Watching: Smash
Listening:"Declaration (This is it)" by Kirk Franklin
This is it ya'll, this is it ya'll
You've been waitin' and debating , here it is, ya'll
All your stuff from your past, shake it off ya'll
Though they said you wouldn't last, who you is ya'll?
Want your dreams back? Let's get it!
Your peace of mind back? Let's get it!
Want your family back? Let's get it!
Are you ready? Let's get it! (This is it!)
I speak against everything that comes to destroy the purpose in your life
This is it!
Worrying about your finances, your future, when you can't even sleep at night
This is it!
I speak against depression and fear, every attack from the enemy
This is it!
This is your day, the Lord made it baby! God has set you free!
This is it!

You can't mess with my mind anymore
This is it!
I'm smarter, see I've been here before
This is it!
It's a new day, I'm not afraid anymore
This is it!
I wanna hear ya'll sing this with your boy!
Every body say
This is it!
"...nor does it mean having a low opinion of your own gifts."
Today's lesson is brought to you by humility... because when you're proud it knocks you down. Yep. That's pretty much the sum of it all. Before I went off to school, I never thought of myself as prideful, because, well, I was a person with a lot of self esteem issues. I was raised feeling abandoned by a parent and a struggle with food kept me conscious of myself at all times. But then there were those times where I would do too much all by myself so that I could say look what I did while they all watched. Or I would be short on food or money and not want to ask anyone for help. Even if they offered, I would reject it because I could take care of myself; or on the rare occasion I accepted their offer I often felt the need to repay them. Little did I know that this was PRIDE  rearing it's ugly head in my life. But when the subject kept coming up, it was like a light shining in. Sure my pride might not have been as noticeable but it was there. I tried to keep myself in check. And for the most part I do ok. But then moments like today come up where I have to walk the two blocks in the rain with an umbrella and five grocery bags because I refused to admit that maybe I did need some help. Or say thank you that would be great to drive them home and bring your car right back. And someone definitely did offer. So here I sit with my bum knee elevated and with a hot pack because apparently walking fourteen and a half miles wasn't super woman enough for me. If I wasn't a vegetarian, I'd be eating crow. 
"It means freedom from thinking of yourself at all." ~William Temple

Sunday, February 12, 2012


"The only man I know who behaves sensibly is my tailor;

Listening:"Someone Like You" by Adele

Never mind, I'll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don't forget me, I beg
I remember you said,
"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead,
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead, "
"he takes my measurements anew each time he sees me."
 You know the saying "To each his own" has taken on new meaning for me this week. Looking back, looking around, and looking into the future it is abundantly clear to me that while something may be right for some people, it may not necessarily be right for you. Whether, that may be the genre of music you listen to, the style of clothing you where, the food you choose to eat (or in my case not eat).
Most people would probably not be surprised to know that I like artists like Francesca Battistelli, but they may be surprised by the fact that I love Taylor Swift, that I dance out of my workouts to Lecrae, that my brother burned me a copy of Usher while I was in Junior High because my mom wouldn't let me listen to music like that and I loved it, and that while I would probably be classified as prep meets nerd my favorite band since I was still a kid is a punk rock Christian group called Relient K.
My clothes tell different stories everyday of the week. I grew up not a tomboy but not a girly girl either. I love hoodies and sneakers, but I would wear dresses and heels all the time if it would make sense. Pink is still my favorite color to this day.
Since I'm a vegetarian, most people probably wouldn't guess that I've had food from over twenty plus countries in my lifetime (guesstimate) most prepared by people from that actual country. Some of those countries include the Philippines, Sweden, Italy, Columbia, Puerto Rico, Honduras, Jamaica, Japan, India, and Israel.
I guess my point is that nobody fits in to this neat little box. And while the things I mentioned may be trivial, there are much deeper things weighing on my mind. Like the way we choose to take care of ourselves, or the way we view relationships, or how we choose to worship. There's never going to be one right way of anything. But there is only one God.
"The rest go on with their old measurements and expect me to fit them."~George Bernard Shaw

Sunday, February 5, 2012

Letters to Baby P: Just Be

Dear Baby P,

I've been a very bad aunt!!! I'm a week late on writing to you precious baby!  Some day you will understand that being a grown-up means that you live your life in a crazy rush, and there just doesn't seem to be enough time to fit it all in. All while trying to just fit in.
I hope that by the time you are old enough to feel like you are rushing to fit everything in and fighting just to "fit in", we'll have it all figured out. But I doubt it. So I will prepare you with these words:
You are beautiful beyond measure, you don't have to fit into to someone's else idea of what beauty is. You are talented, in your own right and own ways. Don't let anyone ever tell you that you are "too much" or "not enough" for them. You aren't too young, too skinny, too fat, too quiet, too loud, too shy, too outgoing, too athletic, or too girly. You are just you. And you are perfect. There is no one else like you, and we couldn't imagine another you if we tried.

Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out;
      you formed me in my mother's womb.
   I thank you, High God—you're breathtaking!
      Body and soul, I am marvelously made!
      I worship in adoration—what a creation!
   You know me inside and out,
      you know every bone in my body;
   You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,
      how I was sculpted from nothing into something.
   Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth;
      all the stages of my life were spread out before you,
   The days of my life all prepared
      before I'd even lived one day. 

 I hope you understand my dear. I hope you believe this. I hope you never spend a day in the mirror tearing yourself apart. I hope you don't become a part of this growing epidemic. I hope you know you were loved from the moment we knew you were coming into this world. No one or nothing will ever change that. And we can't wait to see the person you'll be.

But until then we'll be waiting... 
with open arms!
Love Aunt Tricia


"Love without rules."
Reading: About to start reading "Deep Unto Deep" by Dana Chandler
Watching: Anything BUT The Superbowl
Listening:"Forever Love" by Francesca Battistelli

You are my forever love
You are my forever love
You are my forever love
You are my forever love

From the bottom of my heart I'll sing to You
From the depths of who I am I love You
With everything inside I'll run to You
'Cause all that I've become I owe to You
Oh. Yep, oh. That's my grand opening statement this week. I know you couldn't hear it but it was followed by a sigh. Several actually. 
I started my new job this week and all I keep thinking is how abundantly blessed I am that God put this job in front of me. That and I hope I don't screw this up. Then God speaks, reminding me that He is the God of peace and that if I would just trust I would know that. Sometimes I just feel like how could God not lose His patience with me. But I'm getting to the point where I just start to remind myself of all His good and faithful promises. I'm starting to see, truly see, myself again. I'm not a failure. I'm not just a working robot. I'm a person. I can live and love and express myself. Confidence is my best accessory these days and self value my best asset. I have something to offer besides carbon dioxide.
"For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord. 
Plans to prosper and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."
"Think without limits." ~the inside of a dove chocolate wrapper.