Anger and Absolution

" Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds,"

Currently:

Reading:Still trying to work on "Crazy Love"

Watching: 27 Dresses

Listening:"A Prayer For A Friend" by Casting Crowns

I fear that I won't have the words
that he needs to hear.
I pray for Your wisdom , oh God.
And a heart that's sincere.
And Lord I lift my friend up
to You.

So last night I had planned to come on here today and write more on something I had mentioned last night.  

And then this morning happened...

This morning I woke up at 5am to find that a dear friend of mine had just had his life changed forever. As the day has gone on, as I've prayed and talked to my friends there; my heart broke even more as I found out his fiance, another dear friend and sister, saw the whole thing happen. And I grew angry as I discovered a hit and run driver had just changed their happily ever after...

I've thought of a thousand names for this person I don't even know. I've desired to just get in a car and drive until I find this awful person who did this to my friend. Even though I have no idea who this person is or where to begin to search for them. I don't care who this person is, what their life is like, or how wrong it is that I want to pay them back for what they did with every vocal chord I have and every ounce of muscle I have and more. At least I didn't...

And then I thought of Caleb. I thought of Victoria. I thought of the amazing man and woman of God I know them to be. Of the outstanding character and gentle love they have always shown to others. The peace and happiness they've always carried. The very reason I loved encouraging them towards each other in their season of friendship, and celebrating with them when it blossomed into love. Because they have that pure faith.

Because I have been seeking God for his healing and because of their outstanding faith, God made it so abundantly clear that in spite of the fact that he is heartbroken for my friends too, he still loves and forgives this human being who drastically changed my friends life in a moment. And therefore so must I.

It's always hard when you have to forgive someone you know has done wrong, and it feels like its impossible. But the truth is its only by grace that I've been saved, and so I must show His grace in any circumstance. Forgiveness only binds me anyway.

So I know you will never read this, I know I will probably never meet you, I know I may never know the circumstances that led up to this. But whoever you are... I forgive you. I release you from any anger or bitterness in my heart. And I'm praying for you, because even though you didn't stop... this must be eating you alive. And His grace isn't circumstantial. 

Hang in there Caleb and Victoria, hang in there Graves family, hang in there Victory, MAMC family, and IHOP-pers. Because in the end He has overcome the world.

"...on the heel that has crushed it."  ~Mark Twain