Juvenille no more

"The end of childhood

Currently:

Reading: Our hearts are heavy and light. We laugh and scream and sing. Our hearts are heavy and light.

Watching: Tuck Everlasting

Listening: "Four Becomes One" by Hawthorne Heights

And the time has come now
We must figure out
Driving north or going south
Growing up or falling down
As we pull ourselves together
We cant help but be torn apart
And we will always have each other
Just like it was from the start

When five becomes four
And four becomes one
It's not just passing on
It's passing on all the fun we had
You made us laugh
We only cried but once
Your made us laugh
Your photographs
On display for everyone

The time has come now
We must figure out
How to be as one
How to be as one 

is when things cease to astonish us."

 Yesterday afternoon my dear, sweet, angel of a friend called me. I listened to the light in her voice, even as she was stressed, talking about her baby girl. The little baby that will change our lives forever. I listened to her talk about this tiny little bundle to be, and even over the phone I could see her with her hand on her belly laughing about how this little girl was already behaving. My dear sweet friend, that has laughed and cried with me, is going to be a mom. She is going to be a Mommy! And I don't think she will ever believe me when I say it, but she is going to be the best mom in the entire world. I truly believe that with everything in me. She is the sweetest, gentlest, and most loving soul I have ever met my entire life. I don't know what her child did in heaven, but she just won the lottery when it comes to parents. I can't wait to meet that precious baby girl, and hold her in my arms. I can't wait to smile, and coo, and awe over her. The second I hold her, I think I'll know for sure childhood is gone and that I am an adult. Because my friend won't just be my friend anymore, she won't just be a wife anymore, she'll be a mom. And the picture of the two of them will make the world stand still.

"When the world seems familiar,"

Today I got a text message from my crazy, daring, and darling best friend. It contained three simple words. Found. My. Dress. Never have those words packed such a punch.  Because it wasn't just a sundress. It wasn't another dress for homecoming court, pageants, or proms. It wasn't just teenage girls being silly. It was THE dress. The dress that will top them all. And I'm a million miles away. And so are those teenage girls. The ideas of back then are becoming reality. After that things will never be the same. When did we become old enough for this? In nine and a half months I will stand next to her and watch her say I do. She'll officially have a new best friend, and the world will never be the same. Nor, I guess, should it be.

"when one has gotten used to existence,"

Days like today feel like one heck of a wallop. You know when you're just goofing off and knocking each other around, having fun, and then you realize it actually hurts. That's what growing up feels like lately. But there's this buzz in between it. This natural high that feels life will go on forever, until you realize it's changing. My friends are at such exciting phases in their lives. Someday, maybe, I'll look back on these moments and laugh at how silly I seem. But until then, I wistfully look at these days ahead with an odd mix of sadness and joy. The world is still turning.

"one has become an adult." ~ Eugene Ionesco

 P.S. For those of you who were wondering about my friend who was in an accident back in August (see Anger and Absolution), he is doing pretty well. In the days and weeks following the accident there was concern that he was going to lose more of his leg; but thanks to the Lord, and your prayers, it never happened. He still is experiencing some pain, but we are so thankful that he is alive and well. He is actually being fitted with a prosthetic soon and will hopefully be walking on his wedding day, in thirty-six and a half days.