Sunday, December 4, 2011

Developing Days

"To grow old is the masterwork of wisdom,"
Currently:
Reading: Finally reading "Longing" by Karen Kingsbury 
Watching: Mitch Albom's "Have A Little Faith"

Okay I really don’t like change but I can’t stop it
I’m moving forward anyway with the promise
You are the anchor for my soul
That’s all I need to know
That’s all I need to know

You’re my constant in every moment
Constant
You’ve never failed me
All my life
You have never left my side
You are my constant

Before I was a thought on earth
You knew me then and You gave me worth
When all of this is said and done
You will be the One I’m standing on

The past few days have felt like I'm at the amusement park and getting sick but they won't let me off the ride. I realize day by day that I will never live the life I planned on. And the life I live is always full of surprises. And some days, even though they may be good, it feels like I've been knocked out with a feather.
My dear friend is having a baby girl.
Thump,
I've had a headache for 4 days.
Thump,
My best friend is engaged.
Thump,
My hours are getting cut at work.
Thump,
My friend is sailing on a boat with his girlfriend.
Thump,
I still don't have my degree.
Thump, Thump. Thump!
 There is no question that I love my friends fiercely. There is no question that I am thrilled for their triumphs lately. I am thankful for the blessings God has given me. And oh so grateful that God is teaching me everyday. But there's still this part of me that sees through the glasses of yester-year and feels how terribly off this all seems. Growing up is only getting harder. I'm so overwhelmed. Can we just stop here? Sometimes when the light disappears an afterimage remains - just for a second. I'm  hanging there.

Thank you God that you are my constant in the midst of everything that keeps changing around me. Even if I don't know how to be happy with it in this moment.
"and one of the most difficult chapters in the great art of living." ~Henri Amiel

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