Thursday, June 16, 2011

How Do I Love Thee... let me sense it

"We do not remember days,"
So this is a bonus post! I've tried to have a daily blog before and have epically failed at them. So I determined with this blog I would aim for once a week, on Sundays. There will be an occasional post like this, my "bonus post" in between but if you want to follow along you can look for me on Sunday afternoons. So on with the post...

In case you didn't know, I have a semi-photographic memory. But those memories are even more vivid in my senses. Yes senses. You know, sight, smell, hearing, taste and touch. Being so far away from my most favorite people, those sense memories are what keeps me going on the rough days and gives me the fuel to go farther.
That's why everytime I see frog, I think about what excuse I have to give it to my dear friend. Or a grandma sweater and red lipstick. Or see a picture of an eye. Or see the word love written on someones arm. Or a quiet park ready for a chat.
When the scent of Asian food hits my nose, or a spring rain, or the beach, or even minty breath up close.
When I hear that song, a different song for everyone, a laugh, a crack of lightning or thunder. It's like I can hear them next to me, hear the rhythm of the breathing. Because we're that close that I would know them in the silence.
Speaking of that Asian food, I would give up being a vegetarian for a day, to have some REAL Filipino food. Bourbon chicken and roasted potatoes. I remember who I was with the first time I had sushi. And I remember going to IHOP the first time 2 of my favorite people met together with me. Or an ice cream cone for two.
But what I remember most is my best friend holding me when I admitted to an eating disorder, or the hug in the hallway that last day of school when I second guessed my decision to leave, the one that held my hand just to get me through a moment. My very first kiss.
 I remember it all, and in those moments, it's like I'm transported in time; back to that very first memory, that very first moment with you.

I was speaking with a friend the other day and in the midst of conversation I was forced to pause, so overwhelmed by memories. "There's nothing like a hug from a friend, mom hugs are always great but there are moments when only a friend hug will do. I miss you." And there was built another memory in the brief sound of agreement in a hmm that was almost a sigh.
Because I remember all those moments. And I desperately long to make more of those moments. It's no wonder that the five love languages revolve around the senses.

"...we remember MOMENTS." -Cesare Pavese

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