Sunday, September 30, 2012

Slaying Self

"Knowing what you want"
Reading: The Root of Rejection by Joyce Meyer
Watching: Cupcake Wars
Listening: "Hurt" covered by Johnny Cash

What have I become
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know goes away
In the end
And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt
"is the first step"

Ever have something so simple become something so profound?
I was at Wendy's the other day. I had finished eating and I was waiting for my mom to return to the table. There in front of me sat a man with his three children; two girls and a boy. The father had gone to get the kids frosties and had asked each child what flavor they would like. The boy was the only one who asked for chocolate. But when the Father returned the son was distraught. His was different from his sisters. The father tried to explain to his son, that he had only gotten him what he asked for... but it wasn't enough for the saddened boy. And then I saw something so sweet happen...

How often do we ask for something and then when we get it we want what someone else has? We cry and cry asking for what someone else has when we have such a good gift. I find myself looking back on moments I've had like that before my surgery. I always wanted something more than what I had. But when I was faced with the possibility of death, I realized how grateful I was for all that I had. It's unfortunate that we have to come close to loss in order to be grateful.

So back to my story. I continued to watch it all play out.  No matter how hard the father tried to explain to him, the child was persistent. And so, what appeared to be the eldest child, leaned over to her brother. She said, "Do you want mine? You can have it. We'll trade." And with that the brother dug into her vanilla frosty and instantly stopped crying. I was wowed at the graciousness of this sister. The father didn't really say much to her, but I wanted her to know that someone saw. That someone recognized her generosity, her kindness, her willingness to put her brother before herself. So I dug in my wallet and found something that would be precious to this little girl. And so I gave her fifty cents. It wasn't much but I knew it would be like treasure to this small child. So I walked up to her and placed the change in front of her and said "That was a very nice thing you did. You are a good sister".  The father kept telling me it wasn't necessary. I told him I saw what happened and thought it deserved some positive reinforcement.

It was something so simple as trading what she wanted to make someone else happy. But yet as adults with struggle with this concept. Faith like a child...

"toward getting it." ~Mae West

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