Outlook

"Most of the shadows in this life..."

Reading: New book soon!!!

Watching: "Get Smart"

Listening: I Have 2 songs stuck in my head right now
                    "Smile" by Judy Garland

 

Smile though your heart is aching
Smile, even though it's breaking
When there are clouds, in the sky, you'll get by
If you smile, through your fear and sorrow
Smile, and there'll be tomorrow
You'll see the sun come shining through
If you'll just....

                     "High of 75" by Relient K

And now I'm sunny with a High of 75
Since You took my heavy heart
And made it light
And its funny how you find
You enjoy your life
When you're happy to be alive

 

     In case you haven't noticed today's theme... Well I guess you should just stop reading because if you haven't figured it out by now, you're not going to figure it out.

     Last week was messy. I was an emotional wreck. And yet there were no tears involved.  But yet here we are a week later and the situation hasn't been resolved, I've just changed my outlook on it.
     Over the past 4 months I've learned so much about myself, my character, and my life. One of the major things I've had to examine is my day to day outlook. So often as human beings we tend to want to sit staring at an empty glass when we have such a simple way to fill the glass back up. Yesterday, after almost a week of being hurt, offended, and angry, I realized I hadn't released any of my emotions to God. I was sitting in a puddle of resentment without trying to get out of it. And so I handed it all over. Everything I was feeling, everything I was thinking, everything that was eating away at me. I told God that no matter how my day went, that it was His. It didn't matter if everything went wrong as long as my focus was on Him. And can I just tell you it was like the clouds parted and the sun started shining down. Literally... and emotionally. I know that my peace is not based on emotions. But I am certainly glad to know that in the midst of everything, I can still smile. And walk day by day with Him when my emotions don't feel like they're mixed with peace.

"...are caused by our standing in our own sunshine." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Attraction, Adoration, and So Much MORE!

"Love bonds for a lifetime,"

Currently:

Reading:Still trying to work on "Crazy Love"

Watching:Extreme Couponing (Seriously these people are intense, I can only watch it once in awhile, and even then not a whole episode)

Listening:"Beloved" by Tenth Avenue North

Give me your life
The lust and the lies
The past you're afraid I might see
You've been running away from me

FOREWARNING: The material in this post is a little more intense than my usual subject matter. You may not want to read past this point unless you are ready for some serious talk and some serious searching.

This is definitely not the post I envisioned writing today after being on vacation most of the week, but this is what's on my heart and I can't write something I don't feel truth in.

So lately I have had several rounds of dialogue with a topic kept hush-hush among the church... especially cross-generationally: SEXUAL SIN. Pornography. Masturbation. Petting. Lust. Premarital sex. Adultery. Homosexuality. And so much more. Yeah, I said it!

The world tells us go ahead and give in to our every whim and desire... whatever makes us happy is what we should do. And then we have people in the church telling us that we have to live by rules and guidelines and we are just sitting here trying to figure out where we fit in to these two different viewpoints. What is acceptable? What's going too far? Where do we set the boundaries and how close can we get to them?

And WHY CAN'T WE TALK ABOUT IT?!?!?!?! Seriously lets stop skirting around the issues and talk nitty-gritty. Lets quit pretending that it doesn't apply to us- ALL of us! You may think you don't edge anywhere near the topic but the Bible says whoever looks at someone the wrong way is committing adultery. That means looking someone up and down.

While we are at it, can we stop pretending that this is just a MAN's issue? Girls are not blind!!! Along my journey I have met at least one girl, if not more, that has struggled with all of those issues I mentioned before.

In fact the sermon I heard this morning dealt with the a female's sexual sin. Genesis 39 talks about Joseph's encounter with a woman who was hungering after his body. Or what about Hosea's wife Gomer? Or the adulterous Samaritan woman?

The fact is that as human beings we were designed to find the opposite sex attractive. But we were designed to enjoy the beauty of it in the context of marriage. The in between is just a true trial and test of your character. If you've failed that doesn't mean your horrid, but it means that we fall in to grace and then return to the original course.

So can we just get real? Can we start talking about this stuff? And stop isolating people by making them feel like they're the only ones that deal with it? Girls can we actually admit we have a problem? Can we lean in and share our hearts? And here's a touchy one, can we help the opposite sex understand us better without being weird? I know, I know. Not like oh my gosh I struggle with this and this and this; but as girls this is generally the process our mind goes through. Let's turn off the computers if we have to, throw out the magazines, lets check the content of those movies. Let's be accountable to one another. Lets stop keeping secrets from God, especially since he already knows!

"but lust just pushes away." -Alice Barnhart